My Love/Hate
Relationship With Sleep
When I was a kid, I hated going to sleep. My siblings tell me this started right at
birth. I would fall asleep if someone
held me and rocked me, but the minute they put me down in that crib I woke up
again. During my toddler years I escaped
my crib like Houdini. My brother
actually hid underneath the crib before nap time one day to see how I was
getting out. I stuck my feet between the
bars, planted them on the wall, and pushed the entire crib away from the
wall. Next I went up and over the edge
of the crib and shimmied down the in-between space using the wall to support my
back. Although my brother said it was ingenious,
I think he secretly began to worry about my future occupations. They moved the crib to the middle of the
room, so I couldn’t use the wall for support.
If I wanted to get out, I would have to learn how to make a blanket rope
or simply jump for it. As I got older,
my distaste for sleep continued. I
especially hated the summer months, when I was sent to bed despite protests
that it was still light outside. We did
not have those nice black out curtains that my kids have today, though I don't think my parents even thought about
stuff like that anyway. They had other things
to do…a business to run and 7 other kids besides myself to worry about. I would look out the window above my bed,
listening to my older brothers and sisters playing kick-the-can, and dream of
the day when I could stay up as late as I wanted to.
I am still a night owl.
My excuse: I get more done after the kids go to bed. If I’m being totally honest though, I prefer
to stay up late even when I don’t have anything at all to do. I can’t say I always use this time
productively. Recently, I’ve been
staying up to watch all the TV shows I recorded and getting less sleep than I
should. The parent in me knows I should
turn off the TV and just go to bed, but I don’t want to give up the much
needed alone time. There are days when I just need to relax and do nothing.
Sometimes that feels more important than sleep, especially during hectic
holidays or when my schedule is overly packed.
This late night ritual is becoming a regular, nightly occurrence though, and I’m
noticing an alarming trend. Short-changing my sleep every night creates twice the negative
consequences the next day. The most obvious
one is my mood. Ummm, duh! Every mother knows what happens when their kid doesn't take their nap. Meltdowns ensue. I guess I didn't realize the same thing was happening to me. When a four year old
says, “boy mom…you sure are cranky today, you need a nap,” it’s clear
there is a problem, and I know these sleep-deprived concerns are not limited to me.
StatisticBrain.com says 29% of adults reported getting an
average of 6 hours of sleep or less.
According to multiple studies, that’s simply not enough sleep, and we
know it. We all know we should get
around 8 hours of sleep every night, the same way we know we should drink 8
glasses of water a day and brush our teeth twice too. Knowing it doesn’t mean we actually do it. I tend to treat the 8-hrs of sleep thing as a
luxury rather than an essential. So I
only got 5 hours of sleep last night…no big deal. That just elevates my super-mom status,
right? So I may be a little bit cranky
some days…so what?
Sleep Deprivation
Affects Your Health
The National Center for Biotechnology Information states “In the past 10 or more years, research has overturned the dogma that sleep loss has no health effects, apart from daytime sleepiness. The studies discussed in this section suggest that sleep loss (less than 7 hours per night) may have wide-ranging effects on the cardiovascular, endocrine, immune, and nervous systems, including the following:
The National Center for Biotechnology Information states “In the past 10 or more years, research has overturned the dogma that sleep loss has no health effects, apart from daytime sleepiness. The studies discussed in this section suggest that sleep loss (less than 7 hours per night) may have wide-ranging effects on the cardiovascular, endocrine, immune, and nervous systems, including the following:
·
Obesity in adults and children
·
Diabetes and impaired glucose tolerance
·
Cardiovascular disease and hypertension
·
Anxiety symptoms
·
Depressed mood
·
Alcohol use”
According to an article in Science Daily, “Chronic partial sleep loss of even two to three hours per night was
found to have detrimental effects on the body, leading to impairments in
cognitive performance, as well as cardiovascular, immune and endocrine
functions. Sleep-restricted people also reported not feeling sleepy even though
their performance on tasks declined.”
Sleep-deprivation Is Not
Limited to Adults
A few years ago, I knew a group of moms who didn’t set bedtimes
for their children. One family put the
kids to bed with movies every night. The
kids got their pajamas on, hopped in bed, and watched movies until they
eventually fell asleep. The other family
let the kids dictate their own bedtimes.
They could stay up as long as they wanted. When they decided they felt tired, they would
say goodnight and put themselves to bed.
Both families had children whose ages ranged from 3 years to 8 years old. The kids struggled with behavior issues and
performance in school. To me, these were dots
with an obvious connection, yet the parents didn't see it. I
wholeheartedly believe that many of their kids’ problems would have been
alleviated simply by getting more sleep.
However, the moms didn’t want to enforce bedtime rules because they didn’t
want to seem “mean,” and they were tired of the constant battle of fighting over bedtimes. They had no idea they were creating kids with chronic sleep
issues, which leads to long-term physical and emotional consequences.
“Over-stimulated, overscheduled
kids are getting at least an hour’s less sleep than they need, a deficiency
that, new research reveals, has the power to set their cognitive abilities back
years,” states an eye-opening article in New York Magazine. If you
are a parent, I highly suggest you read the whole article. You may be shocked and surprised by
some of the research, such as “a loss of one hour of sleep is equivalent to
[the loss of] two years of cognitive maturation and development,” and “sleep
disorders can impair children’s I.Q.’s as much as lead exposure.” I urge you to evaluate the sleeping situation
within your household, especially for kids.
So How Much Sleep Do
Your Children Need?
Here’s a good guide to help you determine how much sleep
your child needs: http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sleep-children
Getting Better Sleep
62 percent of American adults experience a sleep problem a
few nights per week. If you are part of
this group, your sleep issues are probably not about the number of hours you
devote but the quality of that sleep.
Here are some things you can try to help encourage better sleep (for you
and your kids).
- Better bed and/or better pillow – a small investment here will pay off
- Temperature control – the air should be cool
- Darkness – invest in some good black-out curtains and skip the night lights
- Reduce screen time - studies show that watching TV and using other electronics with blue light during the hour prior to bedtime may affect not only the ability to fall asleep, but also your quality of sleep. Read this article for more info.
- White noise – get a fan, air filter, white noise player, or white noise app on your phone (see link below)
- Establish a consistent bedtime routine – think Pavlov’s dog experiment. If you do the same routine every night, your body will begin to respond to the cues
- Natural or herbal supplements – there are several natural remedies you can try before resorting to prescription sleep drugs
- Remove common sleep disturbances – for example, if your cat wakes you up in the middle of the night, maybe you need to put them in their carrier instead of allowing them to roam freely. What else is sabotaging your sleep?
- Change your diet- try removing caffeine, avoiding excess sugar, and increasing your magnesium intake
- Aromatherapy – certain scents can make you feel relaxed and calm, such as lavender
- Establish healthy patterns for your children so they stop waking you up
| Here are a few products that may help you get a better night's sleep:** | |||
Chronic Fatigue and Tiredness
Here are some other things, besides lack of sleep, which may
contribute to feelings of fatigue and tiredness.
-Lack of fulfillment and/or feeling overwhelmed
-Depression
-Lack of exercise
-Your diet
Let's look at each one of those in a little more detail.
Lack of
Fulfillment/Feeling Overwhelmed
Maybe you already average 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night, but you still feel tired and have no energy during the day. It’s possible that more sleep is not the answer for you. As a matter of fact, waking up an hour earlier might be a better prescription. Use this extra time to do something you love or something that makes you feel fulfilled. Richard Carlson suggests this in his book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s All Small Stuff. He states, “Many people have told me that this one shift in their routine was the single most important change they have ever made in their lives. For the first time ever, they are able to participate in those quiet activities they never found the time to do. All of a sudden, the books are getting read, the meditation gets done, the sunrise is appreciated. The fulfillment you experience more than makes up for any sleep you miss out on.” I totally agree. When I fill my schedule up with too many things I HAVE to do, it doesn’t leave any room to do the things I really love to do. Too many days of that makes me feel tired and miserable, no matter how much sleep I’ve gotten. Make sure to build in just a little extra time to recharge your batteries, so you have the energy and the right frame of mind to tackle your daily to-do list.
Maybe you already average 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night, but you still feel tired and have no energy during the day. It’s possible that more sleep is not the answer for you. As a matter of fact, waking up an hour earlier might be a better prescription. Use this extra time to do something you love or something that makes you feel fulfilled. Richard Carlson suggests this in his book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s All Small Stuff. He states, “Many people have told me that this one shift in their routine was the single most important change they have ever made in their lives. For the first time ever, they are able to participate in those quiet activities they never found the time to do. All of a sudden, the books are getting read, the meditation gets done, the sunrise is appreciated. The fulfillment you experience more than makes up for any sleep you miss out on.” I totally agree. When I fill my schedule up with too many things I HAVE to do, it doesn’t leave any room to do the things I really love to do. Too many days of that makes me feel tired and miserable, no matter how much sleep I’ve gotten. Make sure to build in just a little extra time to recharge your batteries, so you have the energy and the right frame of mind to tackle your daily to-do list.
Depression
Looking back over my adult life, I recognize blocks of time when I might have been labeled “depressed.” During those times, I know I didn’t want to get out of bed, and I definitely looked for excuses throughout the day to go back to bed, as often as possible. It didn’t seem to matter many how many hours I slept, it never seemed like enough. According to EveryDayHealth.com, there is a direct link between depression and sleep disturbances. They say, “depression commonly causes:
Looking back over my adult life, I recognize blocks of time when I might have been labeled “depressed.” During those times, I know I didn’t want to get out of bed, and I definitely looked for excuses throughout the day to go back to bed, as often as possible. It didn’t seem to matter many how many hours I slept, it never seemed like enough. According to EveryDayHealth.com, there is a direct link between depression and sleep disturbances. They say, “depression commonly causes:
- Difficulty falling asleep
- Difficulty staying asleep
- Waking up early in the morning
- Oversleeping
- Sleeping during the day
- Poor quality of sleep
- Waking up feeling tired”
If you think you may be depressed, talk to a health
professional. Be sure to mention how
your depression has impacted your sleeping patterns.
Exercise
While there doesn’t seem to be definitive proof that exercise leads to better sleep, there’s a correlation between regular physical activity and better sleep. Read the full article here.
While there doesn’t seem to be definitive proof that exercise leads to better sleep, there’s a correlation between regular physical activity and better sleep. Read the full article here.
Here’s another interesting article: Better Sleep, Prettier Skin And 8 Other Unexpected Side Benefits Of Working Out
Diet Considerations
Other Articles Worth
Reading:
Challenge For This
Week:
Take a hard look at how sleep, or the lack thereof, is
affecting your life. Resolve to make a
few simple changes this week to improve your sleeping situation. Keep track of your progress. Use your calendar to jot down the number of
hours of sleep you got the night before.
Then, at the end of the day, write down a few lines that describe your
overall mood and productivity throughout the day. See if a pattern emerges. If you need extra motivation to start or keep
this resolution, find some quotes that really stood out to you from these
articles and copy them on index cards.
Post them where you can see them. Make sleep a priority.
How About You?
Please share your concerns, trials, and triumphs in the
comments below. We want to know what struggles
you have with sleep, or what works for you. Feel free to post a link to other good articles you've found about sleep or your favorite book recommendations on this topic. Get involved in the discussion! #52HealthyHabits
**The fine print: I am an Amazon affiliate, which means I might make some money from the sale of the products I suggest, if you use my link to purchase them. However, if I am recommending it, then I either have it myself or I've researched similar products, checked the reviews, and determined it's a product I think I can stand by, AND it's sold through a reputable seller.
**The fine print: I am an Amazon affiliate, which means I might make some money from the sale of the products I suggest, if you use my link to purchase them. However, if I am recommending it, then I either have it myself or I've researched similar products, checked the reviews, and determined it's a product I think I can stand by, AND it's sold through a reputable seller.
When my daughter was in the crib--but still falling alseep in my lap in the recliner every night before being placed in it--the time after I would put her down was some of the only time I had to myself, to check email, skim facebook, do a few dishes, fold laundry, or sometimes even watch a little TV. Now she's in a Big Girl Bed, but I crawl in next to her until she falls asleep--which means I, too, fall asleep. When I wake up a few hours later and sneak out of her room, I don't have the energy to do anything, and I don't want to look at a bright screen, so I go to my own bed and go right back to sleep. I've been getting more sleep this way than I have since she was born, because her bedtime has become my bedtime. I'm not sleep-deprived for the first time in my adult life. Still tired, of course, because I'm trying to keep up with a three-year-old. But I get me my Zs!
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome! My mom used to do that...fall asleep cuddling next to me. She often used it as a catnap though, and would go back to work when she woke up. Sometimes she continued to work late into the night. When I was a teenager, there were mornings I would find her still working, sitting in the same pile of paperwork as the night before. I would ask, "did you get any sleep?" She'd give me that look, you know...the one that says "don't give me any grief. I'm too tired to discuss it right now." It taught me that getting stuff done was more important than getting enough sleep and I fight to find that healthy balance. I don't want to pass this bad habit on to my own kids. Sounds like you are doing great in this department. Thanks for sharing your story Chrissy!
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